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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?